Spill the tea: Friendships throughout the years

I read a news article about innovation in mobile apps, and the interviewee brought up how your friend circle shrinks immensely when you go from college to the workforce.

Fun fact: this news article talked about innovation in dating apps, analyzing the societal “problem” that people don’t have time to meet new people after they finish school.

This sparked the inspiration for this post.

As I was reading this article, I related so much to what was mentioned about friendships. It also reminded me of my own friendships when I was in school.

Before you enter college or university, everyone is confined to that space. In a way, you’re forced to talk or make friends with the people around you.

Every time you transition to a new phase of school life, your friend circle fluctuates. But at a certain point, it shrinks more than it expands.

I think this happens most frequently when you go from high school to university. And once you graduate, everyone chooses their own path.

I wholeheartedly agree that it’s difficult to meet new people when you enter the workforce. I moved away from my hometown for graduate school and work.

Now, I barely communicate with anyone besides for work. As sad as that may sound, I also found that it was therapeutic for me.

I cared a lot about friendships when I was in school, especially before entering university. Besides grades, friendships were the most important to me. During those times was when I wanted to feel I belonged to a clique. I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere.

I tried to make friendships work even though my gut was telling me that it’s already broken.

Of course, everyone’s experience is different.

After accepting the reality of some friendships, that was when I started to heal. And this was roughly after I entered the workforce. Perhaps this was because my focus is now elsewhere.

But this was when I really started focusing on myself rather than trying to maintain superficial connections with others.

I was focusing on things that mattered.

I’m not saying that friendships don’t matter. To put it another way, I would rather invest in a quality item that would last me a long time rather than an item just to satisfy an emotional need.

I found that it’s rare to form an actual connection with someone. Sometimes, friendships and relationships aren’t simple.

It’s not just about people going on their own paths. People have ulterior motives, which makes it more difficult to just form a genuine connection.

This started as a post to talk about friendships. But if anything, I feel like this is a letter to my younger self.

It’s okay if friendships don’t work out. It’s okay if friendships just stop at the surface level.

Let things happen naturally.

I want to end the post by saying that adult friendships are hard to come by. But, no matter what, it’s all about finding people who connect with you. And sometimes that depends on timing.

5 thoughts on “Spill the tea: Friendships throughout the years

  1. I can relate. Back in high school I had a good number of friend groups to hang out with: folks who I knew from middle school, new friends I met from high school and a miscellaneous group. Now I only hang with the middle group, but we’re still a pretty tightly knit pack, having gone to dinner and conventions and all together even to this day. What you say about letting friendships run naturally is true.
    Work can be a good place to meet friends too. One of my longest friends was one I met at a law firm I interned in back in 2016, and we are pretty much bros 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Work can definitely be a good place to meet others. You discover so many different personalities. I think team dynamics or company culture also plays a part in personal connections too. If it’s more lively, people may find it easier to connect. But if it’s more reserved and quiet, probably others will be the same.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve found in my personal experience that the office tends to take on the former personality. I’ve never run into an office where everyone is quiet and unassuming of the others like a library 😁 Even in the software development side of the area, always some interesting discussions coming around there. Either way it’s always good to try and build connections there.

        Liked by 1 person

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